The Importance of Language in Dolto’s Psychoanalysis
Françoise Dolto, one of the most influential figures in child psychoanalysis, placed exceptional emphasis on the role of language in emotional development and therapeutic practice. For Dolto, language was not merely a tool for communication; it was fundamental to how children construct their identity, process experiences, and build relationships. Her work highlighted how the words adults choose and the honesty behind those words can profoundly impact a child’s emotional world and psychological well-being.
Central to Dolto’s theory is the idea that children are subjects with an unconscious life from birth, seeking to engage meaningfully with those around them. She argued that even infants, who may not yet produce spoken language, are immersed in a world of communication. Their gestures, cries, looks, and movements are symbolic acts through which they express needs, feelings, and desires. Dolto encouraged adults to treat these early forms of communication with the same respect as speech, listening attentively to what children are telling us through their whole being.
Dolto’s innovation was her insistence that language shapes the child’s unconscious image of themselves and the world. She believed that the way adults speak to and about children contributes to the construction of the child’s identity, self-worth, and understanding of reality. Words, she taught, are not neutral. They carry emotional weight and symbolic significance that the child absorbs, even when adults believe the child is too young to understand. This is why Dolto advocated for conscious, thoughtful use of language, emphasizing truthfulness, clarity, and respect in all interactions with children.
One of the most important applications of Dolto’s focus on language was her stance on truth-telling in difficult situations. At a time when it was common to shield children from distressing information whether about illness, divorce, or death Dolto argued that doing so often caused greater harm. She maintained that children sense the emotional reality of their environment, and when adults withhold the truth, children may feel confused, anxious, or mistrustful. Dolto taught that when adults communicate with honesty and empathy, using words that are appropriate to the child’s age and understanding, they help children process complex experiences and build emotional resilience.
Dolto also saw language as a bridge between the conscious and unconscious mind. In therapy, she encouraged children to put their feelings into words not to force verbalization, but to support expression in any form the child chose, whether through speech, play, drawing, or symbolic acts. She believed that by giving voice to inner conflicts and experiences, children could begin to work through emotional challenges and find greater harmony within themselves.
Today, Dolto’s emphasis on language continues to shape child therapy, education, and parenting. Professionals who follow her principles strive to create environments where children’s words and symbolic expressions are heard, valued, and thoughtfully engaged. Her work reminds us that language, at its best, can heal, connect, and empower.
The Approach at Kintess
At Kintess, we are deeply inspired by Françoise Dolto’s understanding of language as a vital part of emotional development. We believe that every child deserves to be listened to with care and respect, whether they communicate through words, play, or gestures. Our educators and counselors use clear, honest, and empathetic language, supporting children as they make sense of their experiences and feelings. By creating a space where children feel safe to express themselves, we help them build confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence core values that reflect Dolto’s lasting legacy.