Françoise Dolto on the Symbolic Position of the Child
Françoise Dolto, one of the most respected figures in child psychoanalysis, transformed the understanding of how children experience themselves and the world around them. A central concept in her work is the symbolic position of the child, which highlights how children are not only biological beings but also subjects situated within a network of language, relationships, and cultural meanings. Dolto’s ideas on this topic have had a lasting influence on psychoanalysis, education, and therapeutic practices.
According to Dolto, from the moment of birth, the child occupies a symbolic position within the family and society. This position is shaped by how the child is spoken about, anticipated, named, and related to by parents and caregivers. Before a child utters a word, they are already immersed in a world of language and symbols that define their place in relationships and shape their emerging identity. The child’s sense of self begins to form in relation to these symbolic structures.
Dolto argued that the child’s symbolic position is dynamic. It evolves through interactions with parents, siblings, and the broader social environment. For example, the words used to describe the child whether affectionate, dismissive, or critical carry powerful messages that the child internalizes. These messages contribute to the child’s understanding of their worth, abilities, and role within the family and community. Dolto emphasized that children are sensitive to this symbolic positioning even if they cannot consciously articulate it.
A key feature of Dolto’s theory is that children respond to their symbolic position through both verbal and non-verbal means. Their play, drawings, dreams, body language, and even physical symptoms can express how they perceive their place in the family or society. Dolto taught that adults must listen carefully to these expressions to understand the child’s experience of their symbolic position and to help the child work through any conflicts or anxieties that arise from it.
Dolto’s focus on the symbolic position also highlighted the impact of family dynamics. She believed that birth order, parental expectations, cultural traditions, and unspoken family narratives all contribute to shaping the child’s symbolic place. When a child feels trapped in a position such as being the “problem child,” the “perfect child,” or the “replacement child” this can lead to emotional struggles, as the child tries to reconcile these labels with their authentic sense of self.
One of Dolto’s key recommendations was the importance of truthful, respectful communication to support the child’s symbolic position in a healthy way. She believed that when adults engage children with honesty and empathy, they help the child integrate their symbolic role in ways that support emotional security and personal growth. Avoiding or distorting truths, on the other hand, can leave children confused and vulnerable to anxiety.
Dolto’s insights continue to shape modern psychoanalytic practice and educational philosophy. Professionals trained in her approach strive to understand the symbolic messages that influence a child’s development and to create environments where children can explore and redefine their symbolic positions in healthy, affirming ways.
The Approach at Kintess
At Kintess, we draw inspiration from Françoise Dolto’s concept of the symbolic position of the child. We recognize that every child enters our learning community with unique experiences, relationships, and cultural meanings that shape their identity. Our educators and counselors are trained to listen to the many ways children express their understanding of themselves and their place in the world. Through open, respectful dialogue and attentive observation, we help children explore their symbolic positions and build a strong, positive sense of self. This approach nurtures resilience, confidence, and emotional well-being, aligning with Dolto’s enduring vision.